There is a tendency to think that loneliness is the province of the old. While seniors are the group who seem to be most at risk for a multitude of reasons, that shouldn’t preclude wondering if younger generations fall prey to it, as well. We should do more than wonder, in fact; there is evidence that our children are more disconnected from each other than ever before and in greater numbers despite the marvel of social technology at their fingertips. Perhaps because of it.
My weekly sessions with Abigail1 must, out of necessity, take on a different tone than what I might use with other clients. Abigail is a quarter of the age of most of my clients, even less. We meet weekly over video chat, an option that many older people seem not to prefer. Abigail, by contrast, wouldn’t respond as well over the phone, and I can’t imagine her warming up to the idea of being a pen pal. It’s an idea so antiquated to her generation that I suppose I’d feel the same today about the telegraph as a means of vital communication. The important thing has been to meet Abigail in a space she’s most comfortable opening up and sharing, and this space may overlap with what older people use or it might look different. The interesting part is that the medium itself doesn’t really matter; once people of any age begin to feel comfortable and speak, the impact is really the same across all generations.
According to a report out of Cedars-Sinai2, one reason that younger people may feel lonely is that they have grown accustomed to being online, and physical interactions are more awkward. While it may feel comfortable to be entirely online, it doesn’t contribute to overall mental and emotional wellbeing to have strictly virtual friendships. This is a problem that is unique to this age group.
“You know, sometimes it’s just nice to have someone to bounce ideas off of and talk things over with every week,” Abigail mentioned one time. She seemed surprised at how easy our meetings were and less burdensome than she had imagined they would be. “I’m realizing that things get better if I just set aside time to think about them. Nothings really needs to get solved. It’s just nice to put attention on the things that are bothering me. Sometimes I get so busy, you know? And this is just a nice time for me.”
I did know. I thought it was an remarkably astute observation for a teenager. I tried to remember when I had done that very thing: set aside time just for me to connect with a friend and talk about my life. When have I last shared my burdens and, afterwards, felt a sense of relief? I had to admit it has been awhile.
Can you remember how long it has been since you’ve done the same?
I agree with you about video chats being the preferred method of communication for younger generations. I’ve noticed how much more personal and open people seem when they’re in their element. It really makes me wonder how we can bridge the gap for those who struggle with face-to-face interactions.