The art of casual conversation may not seem to be much of an art at all. What is it but the chatter between friends about simple topics? Surely anyone—and everyone—has, at some point, engaged in discussing the weather, how the lawn needs mowing, holiday plans, decluttering the house and so forth at some point. How are these mundane matters important?
The first thing to note is that these sorts of conversations often take place between friends. The discussions that take place in a friendship can veer from lighthearted to serious and back again at a rapid pace, but they very often begin with niceties. Without the fertile ground of easy chit-chat, the more personal truths may not have a chance to sprout and grow. Thus, conversation is an important part of how we relate to each other as friends and as humans.
Unfortunately, many of us have become distanced from each other. There are many factors that contribute to our loneliness, but a person who is alone or who perceives themselves to be isolated from others is more likely to be ill, both emotionally and physically. A person without friends or many social connections doesn’t have the chance to share their burdens. This happens far more often in our society than we’d care to realize.
How can a simple phone call change someone’s isolation and depression? The care that a companion provides is more than a simple check-in once a week. It’s building a relationship in the spaces of what might seem to be inconsequential details. Yet slowly, over time, those details add up to more than the sum of their parts. A connection is forged in trust and consistency. When a person understands that they are the recipient of genuine concern, they can flourish. Deeper relationships don’t happen immediately. But with gentle, genuine care that begins with the most mundane topics such as the weather, lawn care, holiday plans and house clutter, people can begin to talk about the pains of their lives, which is the real source of kinship. That is where real change begins: parents who were once alone feel attended to. Where there is hope, there is happiness.
Everyone deserves a chance to be seen and listened to. Our parents cared for us for so many years. While you do what you can now, the truth is that they have more time in their lives than we do to give them the attention they crave. A companion can fill the gaps and bring meaning to them until you can find time to spend. Instead of flowers or another necktie, why not try gifting them a friend instead?
